im finally able to update...after like 6 months, but hey atleast im gettin around to it....its weird goin back and reading the last post, it makes me realize how much stuff has happend in just half a year. well me and that guy ended up breakin it off for good at about 5 months...i started dating someone else the day i broke up wit him, we dated for bout a week he cheated we broke up and i found someone else, we dated bout a week, he cheated we broke up and i found a way better guy. we dated for bout a month and a half and he broke up wit me....he says he still likes me but we cant be together cuz he's gonna be moving soon and this next semester he's gonna be busy...its a bunch of crap but he's still amazing. i do have a new bf that ive been wit bout a month...i guess i kinda like him but i think i like the idea of havin a bf more than him...i just dont wanna be single, i know im a horrible person but i cant help the way i feel. well schools goin good. umm im not livin wit mom anymore...we were fightin like crazy so i told her i was leavin and she didnt call the cops this time YAY. well i got a speeding ticket a few months ago and i wasnt able to pay it so im just waitin for the cops to show up...haha but im not gonna let them find me till after new years. anyway ill try to put pics and quotes up later

 

 

 

i lay there upon my blankets

& in the still of the darkness,

i picture you & wonder where you are,

what you're doing right now,

& wishing whatever it is,

i could be a part of it & in a

matter of seconds, just as

quickly as the thought came,

the silence breaks as i begin to cry

its like half of me really wants

to be with him & the other half

just wants to be over him

they say theres a light

at the end of the tunnel

well, im pretty damn sure

my light is just a train

my momma always told

me that the only

things open at 3 am

were legs & walmart

take away this hurt lord

from everyone ive caused pain

take away my life lord

so i can never hurt them again

when life rains on your parade,

burst out the slip & slide

life is too precious to

worry about stupid shit

so have fun & get drunk

what if im not the superhero?

what if im the bad guy?

 

oh santa santa

hear my plea

santa bring my

baby back to me

shes broken, everyone can tell

all she wants is for him to go to hell

he broke her heart, now its in two

and now theres nothing she can do

cinderella walked on broken glass

& sleeping beauty let a whole lifetime pass

life is blood, sweat & tears

& well....love means facing all your fears

the best thing you can do in life is the right thing

the second best thing you could do is the wrong thing

but the worst thing you could ever do is nothing

all i think about is how to make you think of me

and everything that we should be

you're always on my mind, every second of the day

i wonder if you'll ever think of me the same way

not even kodak could have captured the glow in

her eyes when he told her that he was still

in love with her

the best feeling in the world

is listening to someones heartbeat

& know that its beating like that

because of you

i dont want to change your mind

i dont want to waste your time

i just want to know you're alright

& i cant stop thinking

about what would have happened

if we hadn't given up on each other

somedays i cant stop thinking about you

& others i wonder why i even waste my time

& one day your name just didnt make me smile

he put me through hell

& he knows it

thats why he cant

talk to me

like he used to

partly cloudy with a

very high chance of

DRAMA!!!

opportunity may knock once

but temptation leans on the doorbell

loving you is a crime

but baby you're worth

the jail time

bitch please,

badass is my middle name

good decisions never make good stories

i will dig a hole

& label it love

then trick you to fall in

force a smile, blink away the tears

im supposed to be strong, to have no fears

but im finding it hard not to frown

im such a strong person, why am i breaking down?

when it comes to the future,

there are three kinds of people:

those who let it happen,

those who make it happen,

& those who wonder what happened

i cant stand you;

but then why do i always come back?

i stay single cause' the perfect guys are few

im smiling at many....but you know im waiting for you

he loves her

i love him

looks like im not gonna win

the reason broken-hearted girls dance in the rain

is so they can wash away the pain

he doesnt give me those sparks

oh no...he gives me the whole

fireworks show.

im gonna plant a garden

i have seeds, a shovel, a rake

all i need is a hoe, are you busy?

she doesnt play hard to get,

she plays to get you hard

now i lay myself to sleep

with a bottle of vodka at my feet

& if i die before i wake

tell my girls i drank it straight

i dont make mistakes; i date them

always smile in the mornings

it makes people wonder

what you did last night

losing your first real love is like

waking up from an overdose &

realizing that you're still alive

now the sky is turning blue

the stars disappear one by one

as the daylight is nearer

& yes you're in my head

but that doesnt make you here

im sorry for not telling you the truth, for lying

im sorry for not telling you that inside i was dying

the nine most terrifying words in the

english language are " im from the

government and im here to help."

                     _Ronald Reagan

*only in america are the handicap parking places

in front of skating rinks

*only in america so drug-stores make the sick walk

all the way to the back of their store to get their

prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes

at the front

*only in america do people order a double

cheeseburger, large fries, & a diet coke

*only in america do banks leave both doors

open & chain pens to the counter

*only in america do they buy hot dogs in packages

of 10 & buns in packages of 8

*only in america do they have drive up ATM

machines with braille lettering

im not shooting for a successful relationship

at this point im just looking for something

that will prevent me from throwing myself

in front of a bus

its not my desire; its not my choice

its not intentional; im hypnotized by your voice

the same old thing, but always new

its unbelievable how strongly i feel for you

i need to catch my breath sometimes

to remind myself not to cry

to just hold on & keep some hope

no matter how hard i have to try

sometimes i think of everything ive wasted on you

all my hope, all of my heart

i hope you're happy i truely do

but im done wasting all my time on you

im that lie you can trust

im that chord on your guitar

im that girl you cant shut up

im the blood you might need

im the cigarette you breathe

you cant get rid of me

 

cute is holding hands in the car

& kissing at all the red lights

dont spend your time thinking about

the people in your past; theres a reason

they didnt make it into your future

it starts with a smile & ends with a frown

something that makes the world go 'round

it doesnt take long, maybe one simple kiss

& in the blink of an eye, it might be missed

you cant choose when it happens, it just comes your way

it happens to someone every single day

the kisses, the whispers, the late night talks

the flowers, the I-LOVE-YOU's, the ocean side walks

what im getting at is you cant take love for granted

cuz it might blow away

what you want & need is someone who will stay

dont ask for too much, just ask for their heart

& pray to god that you will never be apart

              -credit goes to shimmy_quotes

 

stolen kisses require an accomplice

a lie isn't considered a lie until someone finds out

sometimes you make me so mad

i just wanna push you into oncoming traffic

but then i realize i'd kill myself trying to save you

& in the end im not perfect

i'll annoy you & piss you off

say stupid things & then take them back

but put that all aside & you'll

never find a girl that loves you more than i do

all those other guys

mean nothing to me

you're the one i want

you're the one i love

you're the one i need

 

 

    UPDATE TIME!!!! well its been awhile cuz it takes forever to update. well i have decided its time to get over that billy kid cuz hes a complete asshole and he has an ugly ass gf. he left me for her and i am prettier than her....o well. i got myself grounded again cuz silverball was last sat. and i was supposed to stay the night at chelsys cuz it didnt end till like midnite....well it was around one o'clock when we decided what we were gonna do and i forgot to text my mom and let her know what was goin on cuz i told her i was gonna go to stephs but i changed my mind and stayed at chelsys and she was pissed i didnt tell her and she showed up at stephs house and i wasnt there. so because of that i ended up babysitting friday night for my uncle so him and his wife could go party. well before they left they told me i could have the beer in their fridge as long as i waited till the kids went to sleep...i decided not to drink it but it was pretty badass how they said i could. well they didnt get back till like 1 so i fell asleep around 12 and i wake up and my aunt is sitting over me and just hands me 15 more bucks...i guess cuz they stayed out late. well i decided to crash over there but i had to sleep on the small couch cuz their friend josh was stayin over too....well i kinda think josh is cute. he had to go to work at 9 so he was up at 8 and i woke up and when i rolled over hes walkin around w/out his shirt and i was like damn! but anyways heres some icons and stuff.

 

worry about your character

not your reputation

because your character is who you are

& your reputation is who people think you are

there is a point in your life when you

realize who matters, who never did &

who always will

im not in denial, im trying hard to let go

this is a mistake im just gonna have to learn from

this situation had alot more bad than good

& maybe i loved you more than i should

you probably wont remember

the test you failed; but you will

never forget the person you were

with when you decided not to study

this time its over, im keeping my heart

im gonna be strong & not fall apart

it'll get better, i'll no longer cry

in a couple of weeks, i wont want to die

i wont want to go back

i'll be able to sleep

it wont hurt so bad

& it wont feel so deep

you can hear it in my voice

read it on my face

im drowning in the memories

of the past i cant replace

save a bed

& fall asleep in his arms

you will always be apart of my life

a happy memory, a good laugh

a tear or two, i wont forget you

teach us the rules

& we'll show you how to break them

inside i built a wall

so high around my heart

i thought it would never fall

one touch, you brought it down

the bricks of my defenses scattered

       on the ground

& i swore i wasnt gonna love again

that last time was the last time

          i'd let someone in

when you're sad, i'll help you plot revenge on the asshole

who upset you. when you trip, i'll laugh & ask "walk much?"

& when you're confused, i'll use little words & talk r-e-a-l s-l-o-w

to explain it to your dumbass...because i know you would do the same for me

i dream of a better tomorrow where

chickens can cross the road without

haveing their motives questioned

heres to life:

hanging out, making out

sneaking out, passing out

whatever happens, happens

     NO REGRETS!!!!!

i look at all the pictures of the past

thinking of how the years went by so fast...

the dances, the parties, the pictures, the laughs

the shoulders to cry on and cute photographs

the people i've known since way back when

the new kids came every now & then

the friendships you make come & go

but there's always those few you'll always know

now as we go our seperate ways

i know i'll always remember these days

a friend wonders about your romantic

history...but a best friend can blackmail

you with it

laugh your heart out

dance in the rain

cherish the memories

ignore the pain

love & learn

forget & forgive

because remember,

you've only got

one life to live

save santa the trip,

just be naughty

dim the lights, lock the door

& spread your pictures on the floor

throw the dust off of your past,

let it all come flooding back, &

because it isnt easy being strong,

& when i cant forget you're gone...

i just surrender & have myself

a night to remember

whats worse than having an enemy?

having a friend that doesnt care!!!

she told him she was afraid

of falling, and he whispered,

        "i have wings"

ten bucks says you'll be crawling into bed with me

putting your hand where they dont belong

& ten bucks says you'll be putting your lips

where they dont belong either,

but ten bucks says i wont say NO

it may seem like i havent been thinking about you &

that this memory of you i've held in my heart, i've

finally been able to let it go. i'm just trying to give

you some space, give you some time to realize how

much you mean to me & hopefully you'll pick up

your act & come back. you and i both know that deep

inside this thing we got going on ain't ever going to

stop. becasuse as much as i cry, fight, & stress

about you, i wouldnt do it if i didnt think that you

were worth it. whoever you decide to let take my

place, just remember that it wont be for long

because even though we're not together, please

dont doubt that it was real. i dont know what else

to do but wait, wait for better things, better

days. a better time for us so that this time, we're

gonna make it. i dont want a fresh start; i want

to learn from our mistakes together. you know i'd

do anything for you, i wanna see how far you'll go

for me. there's alot of things i want & you're not

one of them. i need you. i keep trying to push away

these feelings & hide them underneath anything that

will keep me sane for the day. me & you we're just

the 8th wonder of the world. im dying inside because

i hope what im saying isn't too late. ask anyone that

knows me well; the best part about me was you!!

hate is a feeling

after being hurt

trying not to cry

even if you see him walking by

your the reason i live

your the reason i die

your the reason i give

when i break down & cry

with friendship, it doesnt matter how long

you've known each other or how many fights

you've gotten into. what matters is who said

"ill be there for you" & proved it

its funny how someone

can break your heart &

you still love them with

all the little peices

she sat in the pouring rain

looking up toward the sky

she didnt want anyone to know

she was crying for him again

life is too short to wake

up in the morning with

regrets. so love the

people who treat you

right, forget those who

dont & believe that

everything happens for

a reason. if you get

a chance, take it. if

it changes your life,

let it. nobody said it would

be easy, they just said it

would be worth it

you can only push a girl

away for so long until

she walks out of your

life on her own. so

be careful & make

sure this is what you

want because once

she turns around...

she isnt coming back

its not gonna happen

im pretty much aware now

that no matter what i say to you

you're NEVER gonna care

life is a mixture of sunshine & rain

laughter & pleasure, teardrops & pain

so when clouds hide the sun &

your skies are all gray

remember im only a phone call away

when you're a teenage girl:

--your friends are more important than your family

--boyfriends are a major priority

--you have to look perfect even if you're going somewhere stupid

--you sneak out to meet a friend or guy

--you get irritated over the little things

--you whine about guys to everyone

--you know your 'bases' and have been to a few

--you know the real use of basement & bedroom windows

--you need new clothes all the time

--you go for walks just to find guys